So you had a baby and moved to Lake County. Congratulations! You’ve embraced your new suburban life, but your friends back in the city… they just don’t get it.
Perhaps your friends don’t have kids themselves.
Maybe they’re just diehard city-dwellers.
They’re just not ready to give up the wealth of cultural attractions and the variety of dining options.
Or they could just enjoy congestion, pollution and cosmopolitan superiority.
Either way, they’ve been very, very disappointed with your responses to their social invitations.
You said the baby wouldn’t change you!
You said you missed [INSERT NAME OF FAVORITE CHICAGO DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT/CONCERT VENUE/RESTAURANT]!
You deserve a night off! Come out with ussssss….
You know they miss you, you miss them too! But going out tonight?!? That just ain’t going to happen.
To help you out, we’ve compiled a list of 10 Things You Wish You Your City Friends Understood aka 10 Reasons Why I’m Staying Home in My Pajamas. Try passive-aggressively posting this to your Facebook timeline instead of conducting a heart-to-heart conversation. After all, conflict is sooo exhausting and you already aren’t getting any sleep.
10 Things You Wish You Your City Friends Understood
(aka 10 Reasons Why I’m Staying Home in My Pajamas)
- Your Happy Hour invitations are futile and a mockery of my current life status.
So you want me to drive in rush hour traffic just so I can enjoy one hour of half-price appetizers and NOT drink because I have to drive home… awesome! - Can’t we just meet up in Northbrook?
It’s Cook County, close enough. They serve food there. - I’ve been spoiled by free parking. Behold our glorious acres of asphalt!
- I can’t just bring the baby because you live on the fourth floor of a walk-up.
Seriously the car seat alone is 26 pounds and my stitches still haven’t healed. - Because it will literally take me three hours to get to the city on a Friday night and I pay my sitter by the hour.
- Have I mentioned I have completely forgotten how to parallel park?
- Because there’s no way I’m pumping in THAT bathroom… Eww. Just eww.
- The only bottle service I’m paying for is Similac.
Hello… we’re saving for college tuition and violin lessons now! - Because I don’t have a Groupon for that…
Did I mention the college tuition and violin lessons? - No, I can’t just take the train.
Shut up. Bye Felicia.
Your friends aren’t trying to be insensitive, they just miss your company and may not comprehend your current reality. Be patient with them, just as you wish for them to be patient with you. They’ll understand one day, and when they do, you’ll be there… pointing and laughing with glee.
By Loralie
Hainesville
When Loralie isn’t out exploring with her two pint-sized adventurers you’ll often find her in front of her computer plotting to take over the world (or at least Lake County.) She appreciates good friends, good food, expensive shoes and parents who make two lanes in the drop-off/pick-up line at school. Her spirit animal is The Hobbit. She invites you to join her on her quest for unique distractions, diversions and deliciousness in this county we call home.
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