Motherhood is hard. Wait, LIFE is hard. But the best part is we’re all in it together. Join me as we find our zen in the middle of parenthood, marriage, extended family, volunteering, and just generally enjoying our time here in Lake County.
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Creating my Own Zen: Trajectory Towards Adulthood
The first day of school brings cute photo ops, but it also provides us a chance to set new goals, plan for new experiences, and watch another grain of sand fall through the hourglass of life. Our children are supposed to grow up. I know this in my head. But my heart finds this to be very scary!
Maybe scary isn’t the right word. Maybe a combination of anxious, bold, brave, courageous, terrified, blissful, proud, cheerful, and uncomfortable is the right word. Maybe it’s scary because it’s a visual reminder that our own life is going quickly.
I soak in all the milestones. The concerts at school. The half-birthday height measurements on the kitchen wall. The homemade Mother’s Day cards. The Little League games. I look forward to them. I enjoy them. I fondly remember them. I anticipate the next milestone. And I know I’m so blessed to be here and experience it.
I have a 13-year-old and an eight-year-old. So, if you’re good at math, I’ll have a child in college in a little over five years, God willing. I know I’m not done parenting when he leaves for college. But our family dynamic, and our house, will feel very different when he moves out.
Parenting reminds me of a toilet paper roll–it goes faster when you get towards the end. He’s going to grow up (they both are). And I can’t stop it. I keep telling myself this is what is supposed to happen. I have a healthy, well-adjusted, normal (if there is such a thing) teenager.
I don’t want to wish it away. I know each part of parenting is fleeting. I know his body and his mind are changing daily. And so is our relationship. It feels like a train that you can’t get off. I don’t want to get off, but sometimes I need a pause button to make sure I can process it all. That’s where girlfriends come in! Girlfriends talk you off the ledge and relate to you. I say to them: we are doing it, friends! We are learning, growing, creating, and mothering!
Celebrate it all! Our children know how to use the toilet! They can feed themselves! They can do their homework! They can think and ask and create and be fantastic, exciting individuals! Relish in these landmark discoveries; they are the essence of true joy. Dive in and get to know them; it’s a journey they are on themselves. Witness their self-discovery. It’s awe-inspiring.
I don’t miss having to be home for naptime or grocery shopping with a tantruming two-year-old. I have had moments wishing for more patience or for a phase to pass. But I wouldn’t be who I am today without those 13 years of motherhood under my belt.
Each passing day, I’m learning to be more open-minded and not to judge others’ choices. I cheer for the small victories and celebrate the little milestones. Because added all up, it equals the big stuff. The stuff that happens every day adds up to our extraordinary, messy, beautiful lives.
We may shed a tear for their growing up, but we are delighted to be part of their unbelievable journey.
Wishing you a blessed path through motherhood.