When Will Mothers Day be About Me?

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Motherhood is hard. Wait, LIFE is hard. But the best part is we’re all in it together. Join me as we find our zen in the middle of parenthood, marriage, extended family, volunteering, and just generally enjoying our time here in Lake County.

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When will Mother’s Day be about me?

I feel like a two-year-old having a tantrum, but when will Mother’s Day be about ME??? I fully admit, my husband and I are very lucky; both of our parents are still living and healthy and live within 70 miles of our house.

With that luck comes an extreme and overwhelming amount of extended family time.

My Mother’s Day always consists of attending mass and then driving to Orland Park (a south Chicago suburb) to visit my parents for lunch and then driving to Libertyville to visit my husband’s parents for dinner.

I secretly wish I could somehow figure out how to politically-correctly-without-hurting-anyone’s-feelings RSVP “No.”

I want to stay home in my pajamas with my kids.

I want to wake up to coffee and toast in bed and spend the day how I want to spend it.

I want to go to the park if the weather is nice and pick out plants for the garden. And if it’s raining I’d never change out of my pj’s and watch movies all day cuddled with my sons and order Chinese takeout.

I have been a mom for 13 years now, and I fully admit I am a selfish b**ch when it comes to this topic. But let me be clear, I always end up doing the “right thing” and visiting my mom and mother-in-law. My husband and kids don’t ever forget about me. They try and do something special for me around that time of the year, and this is no reflection on them. But I dream of a day with no extended family plans.

I really struggle with this because I know one of these years we aren’t going to be so lucky on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and sadly someone will be missing from the celebration. But then I also think I’m an adult now; I turn 40 this year! I fast-forward, and my oldest is off to college in five years. His childhood is fleeting, which means my motherhood is also fleeting. This time at home with my boys is so precious, and I am so lucky to be their mom.

I hate the phrase “you deserve it.” I don’t really deserve anything. I don’t deserve a Mother’s Day all to myself (but gosh, do I secretly want it.) I don’t deserve to get all my wishes granted. My life is not horrible at all! And I definitely don’t mean any disrespect to people who are grieving their parents.

Sure, I could host all 26 people at my house, but that sounds stressful, expensive, and exhausting. Plus, my brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law are all balancing the other half of their families as well, so where does the invitation stop? I am trying to find the right balance. I struggle with this for every holiday, to be honest. What stage of life is the appropriate time for the top-of-mind definition of family to be just your husband and kids, and not your parents anymore?

I want to have an Easter egg hunt at my house (not just at my mother-in-law’s house and my mom’s house).

I want to give my children a ton of presents on Christmas, but then I feel my children just have so much too much stuff, and too much to do and we end up taking away from the holiday.

I want to scream “WHEN DO I GET TO BE AN ADULT AND HAVE MY OWN TRADITIONS?” I drive all over Chicagoland on Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Easter, Birthdays… Enough is enough.

What are your Mother’s Day plans? I’ll have to live vicariously through you because we all know this year I’ll be at my mom’s in the afternoon and my mother-in-law’s in the evening…