Melissa Haak, Mother of 4, Fearless Leader and Editor-in-Chief of the highly-lauded, local lifestyle website Little Lake County, has gone missing this morning after her husband drank the last cup of coffee.
She was last seen in a minivan stuck in soul-sucking suburban traffic, presumably headed in the wrong direction. Her friends and loved ones fear she may have succumbed to dementia, triggered by juggling multiple projects, her advanced age, lack of coffee, and poor navigational skills.
Melissa will most likely be seen wearing comfortable, yet stylish shoes, oversized sunglasses, and her lovely blonde hair may have peanut butter in it.
If you locate her, please alert the writing staff of Little Lake County as soon as possible. Do not attempt to approach her or make eye contact. The best course of action is to leave a bottle of pinot noir in her line of vision and throw chocolates at her while yelling “Happy Birthday!” and then run in the opposite direction.
Thank you kindly for your assistance.
We love you Melissa! Happy Birthday!